If you are struggling with issues in your marriage and seeking out marriage counseling in San Diego, most likely you have felt anger, resentment, grief, or despair.
I am here to tell you that you are not alone and there is emotional and therapeutic support available to you and your spouse right away.
Some people remain unhappy until the resentment builds up and then decide to get divorced because they do not see any other resolution.
If one person in the marriage does not voice his unhappiness, then he will continue the partnership without intervention preventing change to occur. On the other hand, you both have the power to fight for your marriage before filing a divorce.
Make the choice to be problem-solvers in the marriage. You owe it to this partnership before throwing in the towel.
Why Your Marriage Struggles Need To Be Addressed
In order to develop and sustain a healthy marriage, there is no “quick fix” and be aware that your marriage counselor will not be doing all of the work, rather she will be providing you with the tools to use in the marriage.
It is up to both participants in the marriage to complete the difficult work required. This needs to be addressed in your relationship in order to unlearn bad habits and replace those old habits new, more effective ones that decreases frustration and exhaustion.
Expect the process take time and keep reminding yourself that you, spouse, and your family are worth your efforts. Most importantly, you must be willing to change to make the relationship counseling process work.
Do not expect to change your partner because you only have the power to change yourself. Instead, work toward learning what you contribute to your marital problems and improving your attitudes, behaviors, and communication skills.
How Marriage Counseling Can Help
As your marriage counselor, I will teach you and your spouse new methods to solving problems while getting both of your needs met.You will learn more effective conflict-resolution with communication processing in a healthy manner.
This process will involve stating your needs clearly and openly without feelings of resentment or anger. I will teach the concept of assertiveness without becoming offensive.
Both you and your spouse will be able to talk about your issues without fear of hurting each other’s feelings.
Marriage counseling involves processing disagreements while providing a safe environment for expressing any feelings of discontentment. Your spouse may be more than willing than you expect to work together in the marriage or you may find that your spouse is unwilling to do the work.
Either way, this allows you to make decisions without any guilt while knowing you have given it your best shot. You and your spouse will both have a deeper understanding how to best meet the emotional and physical needs of one another.
There are many different approaches to marriage counseling, which is dependent upon the presenting problems, both of your unique personalities, and each of you being willing to work hard through the process.
For marriage counseling, I usually follow a “systems approach” that focuses on the interaction between you and your spouse as the foundation that creates the marital difficulties, rather than each action or personality differences. Behavioral and communication patterns will be uncovered as well as the conditioned roles portrayed by family will be identified.
This systems approach can be applied to both short-term therapy (about 6-10 sessions) and long-term therapy (about 10-18 sessions).
Another type of therapy used in my office is known as the “behavioral approach.” Your marital problems are viewed as dysfunctional behaviors that are modified into very functional behaviors that will decrease destructive patterns.
By learning various positive behavioral strategies, your mutually reinforcing interactions, problem solving, and conflict-resolution will begin to improve.
For sexual dysfunction issues in the marital relationship, I am able to provide treatment options at my office, or you may contact me to give you referrals for specialized sex therapy.
After receiving instruction and feedback from me, within a few sessions you will begin to notice that your communication has improved with your spouse that will include resolving conflicts productively, expressing painful emotions openly, responding to your spouse’s emotions appropriately, and negotiating rationally within your relationship.
Book your appointment today to get the help you need for a happy marriage.